Top 10 things to do with your 10/11 -year-old, to deepen that connection before adolescence hits. You'll find this list useful!

Photo by Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

Top 10 things to do with your 10-year-old, to deepen that connection before adolescence hits.

You may already have a teenager as well as younger children in your house. Meeting the needs of both is very difficult, as the teenager may receive more attention because they are in a difficult life stage and need the focus from the parent.

It is difficult to spread your attention and love to the different aged children in the house and sometimes the 10 & 11-year olds feel it. I worked with a child where there had been a close family bereavement and mum was struggling to connect and see to the needs of the two teenagers as well, over time we came up with this list of things that helped the child feel connected and mum feel loved despite the turmoil in the house.

Thinking in terms of prevention is better than cure. I have compiled a little list of some things you can do with your ten-year-old to grow that connection between you. Ten-year olds may pretend they don’t want to do these things with you but given the opportunity and some encouragement they will really enjoy them.

·       Yes, they want to play fortnite or musical.ly, but get the Wii out from under the sofa and they can’t resist. There is enough to keep you going (and competitive) with the Wii sports resort game, but can I just say that if you have the Wii fit plus game and the board, ski jumping will enhance your relationship no end. Most year 6 children are compelled to help their mums or dads who can’t quite get the technique right.

The Wii is physically interactive meaning they are spending the adrenaline they generate, unlike the Xbox or a phone app. If you don’t have a Wii then a game of marbles is a good substitute or boules in the summer. They are drawn to the competitiveness.

·       Word association game in the car. Take YOUR phone and the headphones of them and state you are going to play word association memory game. Each person adds something to the memory game and you have to repeat it like a shopping list. Too make it more tailored to them, give it a theme i.e. cars, baking, youtubers??

·       Swimming – to build relationships when you go swimming, you have to be prepared to get your hair wet and look like a mum who wants some fun. I understand that after 30 mins it is a bit repetitive. You can get some flashing gems that can be retrieved from the bottom of the pool before they stop flashing, this adds some competitive fun. The biggest enjoyment though is

ü  Who has jumped into the pool the farthest

ü  Who can do the silliest jump

ü  Who can do the bomb that creates the biggest splash (do this when the life guard is not looking)

ü  Who can swim under water farthest

ü  Who can do cycling legs (with the long foam spaghetti thing) between your thighs to the end of the pool

ü  How many water somersaults can you do in a row

Can’t you tell we go swimming a lot!

·       THIS ONE IS AN ABSOLUTE WINNER! Pillow fights are the most joy giving thing to a ten-year-old that I can think of. Yes, they hurt a bit if you use the cushions from the sofa and not pillows, but it gets you fit. Five-minute rounds are enough. If you put your all into it you can burn up to 70 calories. Get someone (older sibling or partner to referee) and you can have a weekly contest consisting of three matches.

·       Geocaching is a treasure hunt worldwide that you can incorporate into walks. People leave little cache’s in hidden places all around the country and you can go off the internet clues to find them or of GPS readings from your phone. When you find the Cache, you take something from it and replace it with something else for the next person to find. Just adds a little ‘end goal to your walks that make it worthwhile for your child.

·       Skipping challenge – lose weight, get fit and learn to do cross skip from your child.

·       Story cubes – you can make these or buy them from Waterstones. Each dice like shape has an image on in which you make up a funny story from what you see. It is hard and so it becomes funny.

·       People watching – You imagine in turn what that person is called and what they do as a job to make it funnier you can try and imagine what their choice of character would be on ‘world book day’.

·       Play the IF game in the car. Some examples are:

ü  If you were forced to eat a certain food all the time for the rest of your life, what would it be.

ü  If you could have any secret power, what would it be?

ü  If you could appear in any film, what film would it be?

ü  If you would be a world expert on something, what topic would it be?

As a parent, you have to answer honestly as well.

·       The last one is really simple, try and watch a film with them when they really want you to (gangsta granny is great).

I understand that all these things take up time when other things are demanding your focus, but the payoff is worth it and will keep that connection steady into adolescence.

#TalkingtoTeenagers