Things could be hurting over time for your teenage boy and
you may never know. Anyone who has different sex children reports feeling at a
loss in navigating the differences when it comes to teenage years.
It is true that there is a crisis in masculinity for teenage
boys. They are expected to be sensitive, but not the group p***y. They are
expected to be persistent but not overbearing. Caring but not needy. The
language used by teenagers blurs these things and words that don’t suit a person’s
characteristics are banded about and may have more sticking power than they
should do.
If we model empathy and sincerity, we have a greater chance
of our boys feeling comfortable displaying these qualities. You could express
things that your teenager may not have considered about themselves but when
said rings true for them.
Below is a list of words that have nothing to do with image
or how someone looks and everything to do with inner qualities. When you notice
one of these qualities being displayed you could share that with your teenage
boy. It takes a bit of noticing, and can only be used when you genuinely feel
they have displayed that quality and that you value it in the moment.
When you do this though, leave time before you say ‘have you
brushed your teeth’ or ‘please bring your washing down’, it needs time to be
processed and resonate with internal experience for it to stay within.
I also think the tip with boys is to keep it fun and laugh.
Distract, laugh at yourself and smile when they enter the room. When your
teenage son is speaking it is important you stop what you are doing and have
eye contact. The facial expression, tone and speech pauses will give you an idea of
how he is feeling. Try to figure out the central emotional theme in the story,
paraphrase, and ask specific questions.
I did say to a friend the other day. It is a job when we
never know if we are getting it right. But remember
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not
to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but
what we do for them is never wasted.
Garrison Keillor
Other useful blogs of interest re teenage boys can be found
here
https://helenharveycounselling.blogspot.com/2018/02/the-first-thing-you-can-do-right-now-to.html
https://helenharveycounselling.blogspot.com/2019/09/do-you-have-boy-who-loves-youtuberead.html
Other useful resources for raising boys are
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