Talking to teenagers

Photo by Lotte Meijer on Unsplash What is assertiveness and Assertive communication? When we think about assertiveness what springs to mind is often the thoughts, feeling and concern we have when we imagine having to stand up to others, challenge an opinion or to speak up. How we feel about being assertive is often a reflection of how much we are affected by it. Whether we are affected by it because we have been on the receiving end of assertiveness or because we are afraid of being assertive ourselves, the anxiety is often the overriding feeling. Why is that? Well we often have an experience we go to in our mind when we think about it and in most cases that memory is a negative one. It is a memory of being shouted at or of a loss of control. And there is the misconception. Being assertive is nothing to do with conflict, it is not a negative experience. I would go so far as to say that when people think that being assertive is creating conflict, they could not be ...

Anxiety lesson 8 Asserting yourself Assertive behaviour helps control anxiety levels, it reduces feelings of emotional and everyday overwhelm. To be assertive you need self-awareness, you need to figure out what worries you, be able to recognise mounting stress, be able to recognise the feeling of being overwhelmed. When you have become quite good at this you have to practice treating yourself as you would a friend or a relative that you look after. If a friend or relative was being put upon, I am guessing you would eagerly stand up for their right to make their own decision and exercise their own autonomy. This is something that is required for you to become assertive. On top of this knowledge you will need to practice the belief that you have a right to ask for what you want and have a boundary of what is acceptable behaviour (from others) in your life. For young people this is tricky because for adult’s, their life experience and the feelings that it leave...