Feel all squeezed out…. Only one week to go, 10 things parents can do to feel recharged as we go into September and the new school year.

Do you feel all squeezed out? Only one week to go… what parents can do to feel recharged as we go into September and the new school year.

We are on the home straight now parents. After next week, a different set of arguments will replace the ones about spending money, bus fares, lifts and how there is never anything good to eat in the house.

After the pressure of seeing to your children’s needs and priorities for six weeks, you can easily find that your tank is on empty. Added to this, you may have been abroad for a sunny holiday, one that you have looked forward to since early in the year. The holiday is now past and we are entering autumn days. Some people struggle with this.

Added to all this your child may be starting secondary school this September, you will understandably have a little anxiety about this, if so please see my previous post. https://helenharveycounselling.blogspot.com/2017/08/is-your-child-starting-secondary-school.html

The trick to self- care is that resources have to outweigh demands. Resources are biological, psychological and social.

Bio: sleep, eating, drinking, rest

Psycho: Knowledge, humour, attitude, learning, knowing boundaries

Social: friends, family, work colleague,  

Demands in adults are working, family, self-expectations, friendships, money commitments, running a house ect. To clarify these demands are about topping up resources.

A very important tip is for you to be aware of your boundaries, otherwise other people will deplete the resources tank.

Here are some examples:

The friend who’s a bit of a drain, who wants to moan but not change anything.

The boss at work that says ‘you can do that can’t you Sally, that’s your speciality. Can you have it to me by Friday.

The husband that says ‘but you’ve said before you like doing the laundry and everything to be tidy.

I could give you loads of examples, I’m sure you get the gist. For now, it will be just enough to notice your boundary while you fill up the resource tank.

1)      If Facebook is the first thing you look at in the morning, get rid of the people on Facebook that make you groan. Start your day of with a fighting chance. It’s a platform to enhance life and connect, not suck the energy out of you.

2)      Learn that when somebody is talking about stuff that doesn’t really affect you, it is ok to say “Oh that sort of stuff doesn’t bother me”... really... yeah I don't care.'

3)      Driving back from work, pick the most scenic spot, pull over and just sit for 5 mins. Notice everything outside the car, in fact get out of the car if you can. I don’t just mean look around, I mean pay close attention. There are at least 144 five-minute slots in your waking day. Taking this one is no big deal.

4)      Do you have a trampoline or a sun lounger? Take the time to lie there and watch the clouds pass, this is ultra-relaxing, especially on a trampoline (my anxious clients really say this works) It does, I know because I do it.

5)      When your rushing around, shouting at your primary school aged child “You’re are going to be late”, take a moment to realise that somebody somewhere decided start time was 9 o clock, society decided that. But today you are going to be a non-conformist. Today you are going to be 10 minutes late. So what, it doesn’t happen everyday!

6)      Ask for help – Some people struggle with this one, especially if they have had to be very self-reliant as a child. Whether your struggle is big or small, reach out. People are willing to help with the kids, the lifts ect and if it’s a bigger struggle, you need to trust that your group of friends will help and support you. If you don’t trust that, it time to change friends.

7)      Check in with your emotions, sit still and figure out what your predominant feeling is:

 Anger, sadness, embarrassment, frustration, anxiety, Ashamed? You owe it to yourself to understand how you feel, so you don’t walk around all churned up.

8)      Download audio books or podcasts that make you laugh, play these to and from work instead of listening to the news. It reminds you not to take life so seriously.

9)      Think about what scares you, and do something towards lessening that fear. Learn something about the fear, read how other people have worked towards overcoming it. Educate yourself. Know everything there is to know about that fear and why it triggers you. While doing this have a cup of tea and some chocolate chip cookies on hand. If it’s an emotional life experience,connect with similar people on forums and Facebook groups. If it requires it, get some professional help – that IS looking after yourself.

10)   Spend more time in nature and get more sleep, both are a basic need and just as important as each other. FOR EVERY LOST HOUR OF SLEEP THERE IS A 38% INCREASE IN FEELINGS OF SADNESS AND HOPELESSNESS.

The government last year supported the 3 main green care interventions for improved mental health suggested by Nature England, care farming, environmental conservation and social and therapeutic horticulture. Being outside is therapeutic!

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