What's going on with the teenage brain, one minute your teenager is laughing and chatting on the phone, then you ask a simple question and his mood explodes like a party popper all over the house (only it doesn't feel like a party) and you feel like you have been on the receiving end of something really unfair. The dictionary example of unfair is not following the rules of a game or sport, the Cambridge dictionary example is not treating people in an equal way or not morally right. Both of these examples are true for parents of teenagers, you or I wouldn't put it in these terms, but the essence of the feeling is in these statements.
So what is going on?
Imagine your teenagers brain as a tree and just before puberty, there is an increase in grey matter in the prefrontal cortex, this part of the brain is responsible for logic and reasoning which helps with decision making. Unfortunately, during adolescence, the tree is pruned and cut back to generate stronger and sturdier branches in late adolescence (18 years ish). During adolescence, your teenager will lose about 15% of grey matter resulting in less logical thinking, risky behaviours, reduced ability to stay on task etc.
So what part of the brain is driving so much obnoxious behaviour?
It's a part of the brain that is emotional, highly reactive, impulsive. This part is called the amygdala and is thousands and thousands of years old.
During brain scans of adolescents, this part seemed to be working feverishly when shown a picture and asked to describe a facial expression. The facial picture was fear, but the adolescents answered variedly.. anger, shock, disgust and pain was some of the answers.
Next time there is an emotional explosion in your house and you wonder what caused the break in communication, some of the answer is the AMYGDALA. It helps to keep this in mind because we can react to these explosions too easily. We can take things personally when actually there is a totally different reason for behaviour than your teenager wanting to hurt or anger you.
When your children were young and ill with chickenpox or something similar and they were grouchy and teary and hard work, you were able to say 'it's understandable they are ill'
You can sometimes do this now in teenage years and instead say 'its understandable, her/his brain is under construction'.
DON'T GET ME WRONG IT ISNT OK FOR BAD BEHAVIOUR, BUT IT IS SOMETHING TO HOLD IN MIND WHEN DISHING OUT THE CONSEQUENCES.
More to come on teenage behaviour and how to manage it.
During brain scans of adolescents, this part seemed to be working feverishly when shown a picture and asked to describe a facial expression. The facial picture was fear, but the adolescents answered variedly.. anger, shock, disgust and pain was some of the answers.
Next time there is an emotional explosion in your house and you wonder what caused the break in communication, some of the answer is the AMYGDALA. It helps to keep this in mind because we can react to these explosions too easily. We can take things personally when actually there is a totally different reason for behaviour than your teenager wanting to hurt or anger you.
When your children were young and ill with chickenpox or something similar and they were grouchy and teary and hard work, you were able to say 'it's understandable they are ill'
You can sometimes do this now in teenage years and instead say 'its understandable, her/his brain is under construction'.
DON'T GET ME WRONG IT ISNT OK FOR BAD BEHAVIOUR, BUT IT IS SOMETHING TO HOLD IN MIND WHEN DISHING OUT THE CONSEQUENCES.
More to come on teenage behaviour and how to manage it.
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