Skip to main content

My Daughter has given up Snapchat... and the results could give other parents pause for thought!!!

Okay, so it was a forced break from Snapchat, because of the  constant concerned stance from me and my mother saying 'she is a changed girl because of that phone!' 


I had become concerned over time that the drift was widening and I was playing catch up in the emotions department. My daughter was short tempered, with disturbed sleep and was generally difficult to be around. I was witnessing her becoming tranced into a digital world of ideals and perfection. She was agitated and life weighed heavy.  


We agreed that I would give her a basic Samsung phone that could not operate the much obsessed social media apps. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy, but neither was spending time with her when she had her phone quite frankly. After the phone hand over, the change was not gradual, it was nearly immediate and dramatic. Within 3 hours she was sitting downstairs for longer, making conversation about school and taking an interest in my working life and swimming. She was also more tolerant with her younger brother, which believe me she doesn't find easy.


The following morning I had my daughters phone. It was switched on and was bleeping and pinging every 90 seconds or so as it had been doing throughout the previous evening and night. Two hours into the morning, my daughter had a total of 46 notifications that she would have been required to respond to. 8 o'clock that night she had 89 beeps (couldn't say what they were) Streaks ...we will get onto that in a minute!, messages, video clips. I was irritated listening to it, never mind opening them and responding. 


Streaks !!!! They are a rally that your daughter or son needs to keep going with the friend. A sort of Hi.. Hi everyday with a photo attached to ALL the contacts on their Snapchat (probably most of her year)  but some people do it 6 times a day. If only 10 of the friends do that, it is 60 streaks your son or daughter has to open and maybe respond to even if that person doesn't even raise an eyebrow to her/him in the dinner hall. Young people spend an average of 4 hours on screen time a day, most of this is staring at a phone screen.

DO YOU FEEL TIRED YET?.. I DO ! 

My daughters sleep has improved, she reports feeling relieved and more energised. Of course it is only a temporary break, but I am hoping that when she has experienced the benefits of time away and will be able to use her better judgement when she is again allowed back on the apps. 



OK you want to not think about it for a while, its giving you a headache.. well we will leave it there, but just so you know, the results are in,  she's sat drawing with me at the kitchen table as I write now. 

MY NAME IS NOT SHADOW KING, MY SON HAS CHANGED IT AND I CAN'T CHANGE IT FOR 90 DAYS!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Anxiety lesson 6 – Expression of feelings, those pesky things!!

Photo by Morgan Basham on Unsplash Anxiety lesson 6 – Expression of feelings Its not uncommon for people with anxiety disorders to withhold their true feelings. There are many reasons for this, one common one is the need to be in control and a fear of losing it. When feelings have been denied over time, anxiety can start to manifest. I wrote about this briefly in Anxiety lesson 1 potential causes https://helenharveycounselling.blogspot.com/2017/10/anxiety-learning-potential-causes.html Because people with anxiety/phobic tendency tend to be emotionally reactive and have very strong feelings, the expression of them is even more important for their emotional well-being. When I did my degree in Person Centred Therapy, it was a requirement that you checked in with yourself and others in the morning, also a portion of the day was dedicated to personal development. Again, this is a discipline that requires practice, to notice and name feelings and the memories/events that a

Ideas on Self-esteem feedback for your teenage boys

  Things could be hurting over time for your teenage boy and you may never know. Anyone who has different sex children reports feeling at a loss in navigating the differences when it comes to teenage years. It is true that there is a crisis in masculinity for teenage boys. They are expected to be sensitive, but not the group p***y. They are expected to be persistent but not overbearing. Caring but not needy. The language used by teenagers blurs these things and words that don’t suit a person’s characteristics are banded about and may have more sticking power than they should do. If we model empathy and sincerity, we have a greater chance of our boys feeling comfortable displaying these qualities. You could express things that your teenager may not have considered about themselves but when said rings true for them. Below is a list of words that have nothing to do with image or how someone looks and everything to do with inner qualities. When you notice one of these qualities bei

Mental Health - How do we become resilient, this blog has some answers

As a PODS trained trauma therapist, I have worked with people who have experienced the worst that life has to offer in terms of family relationships and traumatic life events. These clients have functioned well to some extent, they have coped, they have kept going. If we are to try and pick resilience apart, learn the aspects that we can practice in everyday life then these clients have something to teach us. Resilience involves three measurable elements 1)       An adversity has occurred – traumatic experience or stressful event 2)       Evidence of healthy functioning must be present after the adversity 3)       The mechanisms a person employs to avoid the distress or recover from it Health is not measured by an absence of pathology, it is important that assessment of well-being in addition to symptoms is undertaken to treat people holistically. What do I mean by this? does the GP or the school or the CAMHS assessor think about all these facets separately? Res

Mumsnet

mumsnet