I only want to advise about one thing during this pandemic…This one thing is fundamental and effective

I only want to advise about one thing during this pandemic…I have refrained from posting about routine or helping your teen with anxiety, staying calm or being active outdoors. There is too much of this on Facebook and the internet generally.


You see, the things mentioned above and also the other topics addressed by parenting blogs are all fundamentally supported/helped/improved by decent sleep quality.


Get better sleep = feel more energetic

Get better sleep = anxiety is lessened

Get better sleep = make better food choices

Get better sleep = better focus, stay on task

Get better sleep = more patient

Get better sleep = more creative


WHO DOESN’T WANT THE ABOVE BENEFITS DURING THIS PANDEMIC?

How can we deal with big emotions and close contact in the house when we are at the very end of our tether? We can’t, we have to feel robust as much as we can, and for that, you need to plan for what is effective.



There used to be a culture of ‘I can survive on 6 hours sleep, all the greatest leaders do it’. This more common ‘short sleep pattern’ was not well documented until the industrial revolution meaning people were required to be more productive for longer periods with less flexible time for sleep. Before this time sleep was obviously governed by light rhythms with a short nap during the day also.


‘I can survive on little sleep’ is wonky thinking. In respect of parents, it is understandable that we want to stay up later to get some free time when the house has that calm energy after the children are asleep, or at least in their rooms. Staying up isn’t the best thing though, you would be better getting that extra half an hour free time by showering for longer just after tea, or having time out reading a book when they are eating their lunch.


Teenagers and lack of sleep is a dangerous mix causing at the very least a grumpy teenager and at the worst a teenager with poor mental health.


The statistics:

• A teenager who lacks a good amount of sleep is 55% more likely to have used alcohol in the last month.

• For each hour of lost sleep, there is a 38% increase in feelings of sadness and hopelessness.

• For teenagers with a driving license, 5 hours or less of sleep a night is the equivalent of driving with a blood-alcohol level 1.5 times above the legal limit.

I am pretty easy going on most things, but not on sleep amount. I insist on regular bedtimes and sleep procedure for myself and my children.


When I work with teenagers in therapy – the first thing we address is sleep and how to get more of it and of better quality.


HOW TO GET BETTER SLEEP – TEENAGERS

• Off the phone 1 hour and 10 minutes before bed. Do this is increments over a week.

• Be properly active during the day (out of breath, hot and sweaty active)

• YouTube: bird watching, birds nesting, Spring Watch, Osprey videos, Blue Planet programme

• Radio 4 extra, you can choose a topic that slightly interests you, yes, I know radio 4 is boring and for ‘old folk’ but it’s good for the early hours when you can’t get back to sleep for a while.

• YouTube: Search ‘the most satisfying video ever’ mix ups of things being created or destructed in a clever slow-motion way.

• ASMR- Auto Sensory Meridian Response

• Wind in The Willows on audiobook, Charlotte’s Web audio book.

HOW TO GET BETTER SLEEP - ADULTS

• Use an eye mask

• Put 3 heavy blankets on top of the duvet – sensory pressure regulates the nervous system

• Good book – All The Light We Cannot See (Anthony Doeer)

• Valerian root drops (taste like smelly feet, but blooming heck they work)

• When you wake in the night, don’t look at the clock/watch.

• Do a conscious body check ‘is my head relaxed into the pillow, are my arms floppy’, imagine all the tiny muscles in your neck breathing out as you do, same in your feet.

• Get up within the same hour each day.

Most of all, from now on believe that a deep relaxing long sleep is as important for a long healthy life as eating or breathing because it is.